From Toronto to Hollywood

Hello, welcome, and come on in. Guess I should introduce myself, since there's nobody else around to do it. I’m Laurene Landon, not just some cyberspace cadet, and this is my babbleography.

I was born at an early age and not so long ago as you may think. I’m under a hundred...years, not IQ, as I’m a lot smarter than the average avocado. From Toronto, Canada, eh, and we sneaked across the border when I was about four. The early years were a blur....the exclusive prep school in El Monte, Cal Tech (OK...Cal State).

I’m half Polish, half Pisces, half Irish, with the Polish math gene and a tendency to stew. I love animals and believe in angels. Angels can fly ’cause they take themselves lightly....pretty much my philosophy on life. I respect all God's children, especially the elderly...love to dance to U2, artistic visionaries, if ever there were! Workouts? Mine are limited to pumping irony and jumping to conclusions. I’m five foot nine, with orthoscopic vision but do my best to avoid "I" contact. Single, never married, I guess ’cause I couldn't find a man willing to follow me around with a mop and a glow and a can of Lysol.

I began acting as an extra and have been fortunate to star or co-star in 20 films so far. Wrestled the part of "Molly" from 1,700 perspirants and was privileged to work with Robert Aldrich in his last film, All the Marbles, in which I played a lady wrestler. Growing up, I was always a strong and aggressive athlete which helped me win parts in many action-packed films...did nearly all of my own stunts which was great fun at the time, but the residual aches and pains have outlasted the residuals. My personal mantra and words to live by: IF IT DON'T BREATHE, IT DON'T MATTER. What counts cannot be counted.

Over the years, I’ve had many requests for photos, so I cleaned out the litterbox, and here’s what I found. I recently learned to write, so the pictures are autographed as well. Hope you see something you like...at least enough to send for a couple of souvenirs.

Thank you, and God bless.